Change Your Mindset by Changing Your Language

How do I get my kids to help clean the house?! Why won’t they put their toys away themselves?

These are pretty common questions parents ask themselves. When we signed up for parenthood, we didn’t necessarily think we were signing up for a lifetime of picking up everyone else’s things. And yet, that seems to be the case for most of us.

There are lots of tips and tricks on how to get kids to do one thing or another. The idea in this challenge, however, is to develop a very important life skill in your children (and maybe yourself) about being grateful for what you have. It starts with the language you use.

Your words have the power to influence the way you think. When you change the words you use around taking care of your things, your mindset will too.

When you “have to” put your stuff away, it implies a roadblock to something you’d rather be doing. When you “get to” do it, it becomes a privilege to own those things in the first place.

When you have “chores” to do, it’s an unwelcome weight and another barrier. When you have a “responsibility” to your family, you have something you can take pride in.

Doesn’t setting up for a new adventure sound way more appealing than cleaning up your mess?

In modeling this language as a parent, you don’t have to pretend that you love everything. But saying that even though you don’t enjoy scrubbing the dishes, you are grateful to have food on the table and a family who helps dry and put things away (hint, hint) does a lot more good for everyone’s mental and emotional health than just being angry that there’s more to clean.

All of these techniques are establishing a pattern of behavior that will continue on through the rest of their lives.

Clean up your language (and change your mindset) around household responsibilities.

• Instead of “have to,” use “get to”
• Instead of “chore,” use “responsibility”
• Instead of “clean up this mess,” use “reset this space for a new adventure”

The words we use are infused with meaning whether we realize it or not. When we talk about laundry, tidying, dishes, etc. with language otherwise used for unbearably awful things, it gives them undue power over our mindset. Having a home IS a privilege. The ability to maintain it IS a gift.