You’re More Than a Parent. Make Sure Your Kids Know.

The transition from professional work mode to parent mode can be nearly impossible to understand until you’re a parent going through it. There are parts of our personality we have to change when switching modes, our vocabulary changes, our tolerance level changes.

Many of us describe ourselves as different people at work than we are at home. That’s understandable. But who we are at work is an important component of who we are as whole human beings. In the quest to have deep and meaningful relationships with our children, they should know who we are when we’re not at home.

This family bonding challenge is all about sharing how you are more than a parent and clueing your children in to all the amazing things you contribute to outside of raising your family.

Any child more than three-years-old is not too young to understand what you do so long as you explain it on their level. If you can focus on something they can relate to and consistently share that part of your life, then eventually they will understand you have a broader identity in the world.

Spin the story of your day to their level of comprehension. Focus on some aspect of who you helped, who helped you, or something creative you worked on. Compare your career to a book character or tv show character they’re familiar with.

Find a way to let them know you’re working on all the same skills you expect them to be learning in their daily lives. Over time they will come to know you as more than a parent but also a person in the real world in addition to being an amazing mom or dad.

If you don’t have a career outside the home then share about all the jobs you take care of to make the house and family run. Start involving them in the tasks and increase their responsibilities over time. 

You control the narrative of what it means to be a stay-at-home-parent. If you value what you do then they will too.

When your children are very young, they may not have a way to ask you questions or further the conversation about what you’re sharing. But you will be setting a precedent for future conversations. This is another way of playing the long game of family bonding.