What Kids Can Teach Us: A Simple Role Reversal That Builds Confidence and Connection

When we think of our kids, we usually think of all the things we need to teach them before they move out. We usually don’t think about what kids can teach us as their parents. But there are many things we can learn from children.

There are general things that children teach us, like we should live in the moment more, that being curious is a good thing, and that we can learn a thing or two about patience.

There are more specific things we can learn from children, though, especially our own.

Try doing a role reversal with your child. When we reverse our roles and put our children in a place to teach us something, we allow them to build confidence and realize that they know things we don’t.

It also shows them that we’re open to learning new things. Seeing their parent as a lifelong learner lets them know it’s okay to not know everything.

Most of us grew up in households where the parent-child dynamic was strictly one-directional. Parents taught, children learned, end of story. Research and real-world experience, however, show us that when we flip that script occasionally, something magical happens.

First, it levels the playing field in a healthy way. Your child gets to experience what it feels like to be the expert, the one with the knowledge, the person someone else is depending on. That feeling helps them build their self-confidence.

When your daughter realizes she can teach you something about coding or your son discovers he can explain his video game strategies in a way you understand, they’re developing communication skills and self-assurance that will serve them for life.

Second, role reversal creates a judgment-free zone for both of you. When you’re the student, you’re naturally asking questions, admitting what you don’t know, and sometimes even making mistakes.

Your child sees you being vulnerable and okay with it. They watch you struggle with something new and keep trying anyway. That’s a powerful model for encouraging learning throughout life.

The beauty of this approach is that it works at any age and stage. Whether you’re asking your preschooler to teach you their favorite pretend play game or your teenager is walking you through photo editing software, the core benefits remain the same.

Everyone leaves feeling valued, capable, and a little more connected than before.

1. Decide What Your Child Will Teach You

   If you have young children, that’s okay. You can still do this with them. Whatever the age of your child, think about the things they enjoy and/or are good at. This is where what children can teach parents becomes really personal and meaningful.

   Here are some ideas to get you started:

   • For younger children: Ask them to show you how to play one of their favorite games.
   • For LEGO lovers: Ask them to show you how to follow the instructions for one of their favorite sets, so you can assemble it together.
   • For older children and teens: Ask them to show you something on your phone. Teens seem to know all the shortcuts and features. I’m sure they can show you something you had no idea was even a possibility. I say this because my teen has shown me things that I had no idea about. And I always thought I was staying up to date.
   • For kids with special talents: If your child has a skill that you do not, say drawing or painting or playing a particular sport or instrument, ask them to give you an introductory lesson. The added bonus of having your child teach you is that when you teach someone a skill, you become better at the skill through teaching it.

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   If you can’t think of anything, then ask your child if they have something they can teach you. You might be surprised with what they come up with.

2. Find a Time for Your Lesson

   When you’ve decided what your child will teach you, work with your child to find a time that works for both of you for the lesson to take place. It could be right then, or it could be later.

   When it comes time for your lesson, whatever the age of your child, let them lead the way. Ask questions and give them your undivided attention.

   This is their moment to shine and show you what children can teach parents when given the opportunity.

3. Thank Your Child

   When the lesson is done, make sure to thank your child for teaching you.

   Not only will you have learned something new but your child will also have gained experience teaching, and you’ll both have a bonding experience to look back on, hopefully fondly.

   Acknowledging what children can teach parents reinforces the value of their knowledge and perspective, reminding them that learning flows both ways in your family.