1 Way to Make a Family Media Management Plan Work

Parents and kids never have the same ideas when it comes to screen time. The kids want more; the parents want less or none at all. Follow this surefire way to get everyone on the same page and make a family media management plan the whole family can agree on.

When kids have ownership over something, they are more invested in the process and less likely to complain or break rules. Although it may seem counterintuitive, you want your kids to make a family media management plan with you. They are less likely to break the agreement if they are involved in creating it and understand why the plan is the way it is.

At your next family meeting, or family dinner, take some time to talk about the family’s media use. Not just the kids’ use but the parents’ too. Let your kids know you want to create a family media plan that the whole family can use. Make sure you tell them that you want them to help create the plan, too, and that it will be for the whole family, not just them.

Although the plan will apply to the whole family, it doesn’t mean everyone will have the same rules. For example, just because the kids have a limit on time doesn’t mean the parents have to have the same limit, especially if they use media for work. An example of a rule that might apply to everyone, though, is no one is allowed to use a phone or tablet at the dinner table.

Ask everyone to think about their media use and the rest of the family’s media use. Have everyone write things down so you can make a family media management plan at your next family meeting.

Here are some questions to get your kids thinking:

• Why do they believe they are ready for the media they are using?
• Who should pay for games/technology? What about if an item is lost or broken?
• How much time do they believe they should be able to use media per day or week and why?
• Do they believe they are ready/mature enough for the media use they want/already have?
• Where should media use be allowed? In family areas, bedrooms, or another space?
• Where should media use not be allowed?
• What type of parental controls/checks is reasonable and under what circumstances?

You and your spouse should answer the same questions about your kids and also write down what rules you believe you should have, if any, and why. You can also look at the media use plan tool from the American Academy of Pediatrics for ideas on what to discuss.

At your next family meeting, give everyone time to share. Go over each question and let everyone share their thoughts on it. Select someone to keep notes and write down all the different ideas that come up. Let the family know that once all of the ideas are written down, there will be a discussion on each item to decide whether or not the family wants to include it in the plan. This will be the time to let your kids know if something is unreasonable or just not safe and why you believe that. It’s also a time for them to disagree with your ideas.

The discussion part can take a while. It’s important to make sure everyone agrees on what goes into your family media management plan, even if it’s begrudgingly. If someone in the family isn’t sure about something the rest of the family agrees on, include it on a trial basis and see how it goes. Your plan isn’t set in stone and can be revisited or updated whenever your family feels something is no longer relevant.

By involving your kids when making a family media management plan, you’ll ensure it works. Everyone in the family will understand why it contains what it does, which will eliminate arguments.