Talking about Traditions: How to Start Meaningful Conversations That Strengthen Your Family

Talking about traditions can be a great way to bond as a family. With the holiday season quickly approaching, now would be a great time to talk about the traditions your family celebrates.

Before jumping into conversations with your children about your family’s traditions, it’s worth taking a moment to reflect on why these customs hold such power in our lives. Talking about traditions with intentionality helps you communicate their deeper meaning to your children.

Family traditions create a sense of belonging and identity that children carry with them throughout their lives. When we understand why traditions are important, we can be more intentional about which ones we choose to continue and how we talk about them with our children.

Why are traditions important?

• They provide predictability in an unpredictable world
• They offer touchstones of comfort during challenging times
• They strengthen family bonds and improve communication
• They help children develop higher self-esteem
• They create a clearer sense of family values

According to the American Psychological Association, families who maintain traditions together report stronger relationships overall.

This makes talking about traditions with your kids not just a nice conversation to have, but an essential part of building a strong family foundation.

When talking about traditions with your family, the environment you create for the conversation matters just as much as the words you say.

Choose the right time and place:

• During a relaxed family dinner
• On a weekend morning over breakfast
• During a family meeting where everyone can share
• Any time when there’s no rush to be anywhere

Let your children know from the start that all opinions are welcome and valued.

Make it clear that traditions aren’t set in stone. They’re meant to serve the family, not the other way around. When you approach talking about traditions as an ongoing dialogue rather than a one-time lecture, children feel more comfortable sharing their true feelings, even if those feelings might differ from yours.

Once you’ve had a chance to think about the traditions you stopped doing and the ones you continued with your own family, talk with your family about the traditions you celebrate together.

This is something you can bring up at your next family meeting or the next time the family is all together.

Here’s how to start the conversation:

• Share a memory from a tradition you celebrated as a child
• Explain what you liked or didn’t like about it
• Tell them why you decided to keep it alive or let it go
• Ask your kids which traditions they enjoy and look forward to
• Invite them to share about any traditions they’d like to change

Maybe sharing why you celebrate the tradition will help your kids see it in a new light and enjoy it a bit more. If not, that’s okay. The simple act of talking about traditions openly helps them understand that their perspective matters. They’ll at least know why it’s important to you.

Stay Flexible With Your Traditions

For instance, I love looking at Christmas lights (as I mentioned above), but some years my kids aren’t feeling the same.

Although I enjoy seeing the lights, it wouldn’t be fun for me if everyone else in the car wasn’t enjoying the experience and was grumpy.

We skip the excursion when this happens. I think there have only been a few years that we haven’t gone (and my oldest is a teen), and at least one of those years was because the roads were too icy.

The Bottom Line

Hearing your kids out and asking for ongoing feedback is an important part of creating an atmosphere of open and honest communication in the house.

It doesn’t mean you have to stop celebrating a tradition that is important to you. Your kids can choose not to continue it when they’re adults.

It does mean that you’re willing to have a conversation with them and hear them out, though.

Maybe there’s a way to change the tradition in some way to make it more enjoyable for everyone while still being celebrated. You’ll never know until you ask.